PastPoop

4/26/2003-Poetry Corner w/ Insidious_T

This is part 1 of your progressive poetry lesson. Poems are filled with emotion, truth, enlightenment, schizophrenia, style, cheerios, and the essence of the soul coupled with a 1/2 gallon of upper intestinal crust.

To be a poet, one must flow the essence of oneself into the works. Sometimes, a proper setting is needed. I wrote these skillful verses in an Applebee's potty room with my laptop whilst sitting upon a fragrant bowl, filled with my leftover cheesecurds and lima beans, and lined with 6 Texas t-shirts.

You really need not study any other poet's works in this day and age. Merely vomit your self inflicted butt puckey on paper or your computer. Form is also hardly a consideration. As I learned from my years in Seattle, you merely need to only be able to form loose phrases and use eloquent words. You don't even have to use them properly. The word 'scheistkopf' sounds cool and makes you look neato when you use it in a poem to describe your significant love bunny. Hey, it's a German swear word, but not like they'll know. You just look badass.

Talk about pain! I cannot emphasize this enough! Make shit up if you have to! Talk about having to comb daddy's 'other hair', or how mommy played hide the soap in your butt. If you're lucky, this can be bankable lyrics for the next Linkin Park or Korn album. Spew the darker side of your psyche, have a shrink implant false memories, whatevah! Just piss your shattered soul out and you'll again look badass.

Vote Democrat! This is important in the poetry community. Republicans don't like poets, cause they can't read. That, and as a poet you have to have an extreme left wing outlook on life. That means that nothing is really taboo in your life, and you must be willing at any time to march for peace and write verses about the atrocities in a country you can't spell or locate. This may even get you on t.v. which is clearly badass.

Weekly readings. You gots ta find some hep cats in your area and do some poem swappin' on the mic. Let them snap while you read your love for spotted owls and pink mums. Feel the love of the common brother in the forum of a smoky bar that runs E thru the waitresses. Listen to their works, and comment on their flow. This will up your karma and will definitely make you badass.

You are on your way soldjah!

-Insidious_T