PastPoop

5/10/2003-Road to ze Weiss Haus: Insidious_T for President.

I am hereby announcing my candidacy for President of the United States, as a founder of the National Asspie Party. Although I am under the legal age of 36 to run, I have secured a permission slip from my mommy, and the House, Senate, and Congress said, "alrighty, let the retard run, should be at least good for shits and giggles." That was the official reply. Good enough for me.

I have already drafted a a few members for my cabinet, and I will add more during the campaign as soon as candidates have been selected by the process of their checks clearing.

It is with gratitide and a heavy heart that I choose to run. I am a middle class honkey with absolutely no legislative experience, except for junior class treasurer, which ended quickly when I embezzled funds for freshman lapdances. However, I am the man for this job. I have the ideas. I have the drive. I have really bad gas, but my administration will work hard, and do stuff.

I mentioned that I threw in my lot with a heavy heart. This is because I may be taking control of one pissed off nation. People are broke, politically divided, and I even hear some women refuse to shave their armpits before sunbathing beachside. In my next speech, I will outline my party's plans for reform in all areas, and allow you, the Amerikan Volk to decide if I am deserving of your trust.

I will say this here and now, We need reform! In all areas. My administration plans to give all aspects of government a cold vinegar enema. Government waste will be eliminated, social services will get a douching, and our foreign policy will be revamped as befits your votes and my mood.

People! If you want change, and a President that beats ass, gets shit done thru his ministers and isn't afraid to beat off and smoke cigars during a State of the Union address, you need to look to me. I promise you, great changes, and equality for all unless you piss me off. Soon, the cabinet list, and my party's program will be issued. Take heart people, a new dawn is beggining! Raise your hands high, announce your American pride and say;

insidious' not frivilous, an end to social syphillis, he's deus ex politicus.

-Insidious_T