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PastPoop8/10/2003-Shiiiittttt......Ever go to a family reunion, or have a Christmas/Hannukah/Kwannzaa/Winter Solstice/Great Pumpkin holiday and meet with close and distant relatives and spend time bonding, sharing, talking and loving? You know the get togethers you prepare for, reminiscing about the time Uncle Jake's collastomy bag blew at Thanksgiving dinner, or how proud you are that junior got out of jail, or if you're lucky, college? Ah...good times. the close bond of a family, the necessary institution of human relations.God, how I hate that shit. Don't get me wrong, I love my family; immediate, extended, or otherwise. But the social function of uniting for a holiday or bullshit session visit really tends to rag my fucking nerves. I do enjoy meeting up with my parents, or in laws or whatever, but I'd prefer to keep it to a 20 minute limit, then go back to jerking off to porn. Fucked up priorities? Well, at least they're in order. I tend to use the wonderful invention known as the telephone to keep tabs on my blood. We spew our gossip, we exchange pleasantries, and then we hang up. Want to see them? Hook up the webcam or simply send pictures. Quick, easy, and painless, and it costs far less than housing these people in your lair and feeding them and you get to keep the communiques down to mere minutes instead of endless days of having to entertain people you moved AWAY from. You must be thinking I'm the most insensitive ass since Charlton Heston. Well, you're right. I like keeping the close circle of friends and family in my life small simply cause I trust very few, and I basically despise humanity for occupying my planet. But when I have relatives visit, I find my world invaded, my chi imbalanced, and my scrotum chafes. I like my privacy in my home and having other than close friends or wives and kids here disrupts that delicate nirvana. All these add up to one grumpy bastard who is torn between conflicting impulses of trying to be civil to my loved ones, or murdering them for douching their way back into my lives in person. There's a simple point to all this folks; family is cool..parents are to be respected and loved, brothers and sisters cherished, and in laws to be patronized.....unless they try to physically re-enter your lives. Then there's this fucking computer of mine. As I type this, the sumbitch is giving me all sorts of error messages, and keeps telling me my virtual memory is low. Must be the DSL data influx... piece of Compaq shit. Anyway, what was I moaning about? Oh yes, Freemasons. I fucking hate Freemasons. DAMMIT! I shut off the damn DSL line, and I'm still getting pop ups. Seems I managed to acquire some adware during one of my frequent trips to madrus adult movie world. You'd think I'd have learned by now that porn sites are bad and they can only bring harm. Of course I mean in the form of blind links, spyware, or a link to endless ads. I need to build a new comp. Such are my current woes. Alas, tis my lot in life; to be cursed with family, a computer made in Yemen, and bad porn links. Anyway, I'm sure you all have some porn of your own to search for, so I shall leave you to your monkey greasing sites. After all, that's why the internet was invented. Thank you Al Gore. Until Gray Davis is re-elected I remain.... -Insidious_T |
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