PastPoop

5/9/2003-Hecklernomicon: The Book of Moron The Second Testament of Insidious, Mein Krap, or Damn I Love Big Titles.

In this side piece to Hecklernomicon, I have decided not to finger you with any more episodes of my prepubescent and adolescent shenanigans. Instead class, you're going to get a healthy dose of my Weltanshauung, or world view. Mind you this only my opinion, but I am hoping someone is inspired by this and makes a government ideology out of it. Shit, I always wanted to be a Karl Marx or Nietzsche, but I'd settle for being a Ralph Nader or Jesse Jackson. Forsooth Odinsons! Tis time to be inspired.

My social beliefs are simple; people need to get along and quit taking themselves so seriously. Class status, and racial inequality must end. The solution is simple; shut the fuck up and hug a cracka. Just kidding. basically we need to get along, but we won't cause the world is ridden with hatred and stupidity, so I suggest enforced sterilization of bigots, and stupid people. No distinctions from race or class, just if you're a moron or a racist you get your nuts/ovaries cooked on an open x-ray. This does not apply to the mentally retarded, just stupid people. How this is determined is by a simple test. If you can't name 3 country capitols, or spell mayonnaise, you're fucked and get neutered. Draconian sweeps are the key.

What government woud enforce this you say? A dictatorship? Hell no. Parliamentary democracy is flawed, but there is no better anywhere, nor has anyone come up with a better form of government. So, democracy becomes universal thru plebiscites. All nations of the world will be shown true freedom thru campaigns and cereal box prizes. The nations will then vote to adopt a similiar government form to ours, with elected officials. Then they clean house. Throw out the dictators, emperors, and generals that like to boss the public around, and these poops will be executed by public flogging with olive loaves and used kotex strapped to bamboo and wrapped in barbed wire dipped in monkey shit. Damn that was creative. Anyway, the people shall have those who rule by the will of the people and revolutions should be outlawed. Any revolutionary tries a putsch, the fucker gets his balls roasted over a human bbq. If the plebiscites fail, then everyone else pulls any support from that country till they achieve true equality and democracy.

These changes may be construed as revolution itself, but that's the idea. One final push for world equality, and once things settle, everyone lets everyone be. Then there would be no need for any major reforms, just small changes as the times changed. No wars, no trade embargoes, no international bullshit. Everyone is equal, everyone shares, and nobody fucks with other countries. Hell, with all this maybe there could be an end to country barriers, but this is getting a bit ahead.

This very loose summary of a perfect world will never happen. In fact, I didn't really think it out, I just started typing, but it looks sexy. So with belief dissuspended and reality returned, what should be done now? What should the U.S. do here and now in relation to world opinion?

The U.S. should promptly tell the U.N. to go fuck themselves, close down the building, push it into the water, and send the delegates home at their own expense. As I stated in a previous rant, the world is not our daycare. They won't help themselves, then neither will we. The recent opposition to some of our controversial yet necessary policies has shown too clearly that the world truly resents us. So fuck 'em. Send them home and pull support. We'll keep our friends and dump the rest. Obviously the role of the U.N. as collective security guarantor like its predecessor the League of Nations, has run its course and been troubled with idiotic policies, delegates, and yeast infections.

Secondly, it's time to focus on getting shit fixed at home. Reform health care PROPERLY, find ways to make new jobs locally, and kick out the immigrants. A follow up to the immigration policy is close the fucking borders to new people for now. Not permanently, just till we get shit straightened out with our own economy and problems, then reopen the borders with a stricter immigration policy than Germany and Austria combined. All aliens here under 90 days of the new law taking effect get the boot. Any aliens living off welfare, not speaking english; buh bye. Any illegal immigrants get shipped home at the country of origin's expense or face trade sanctions. We need to get tough, the world is walking all over us and we're basically taking it like Chamberlain at Munich.

That's another brief doodle for America, but it's far from complete, I just don't have space to bitch more. As for the rest of the world, they need to mind their own business too. Quit worrying about what we're doing and fix your own shit. Once these things have been achieved, then we'll talk about unifying the world, and using Brazil as a hunting ground.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever written, but it felt good. I've had a bad day and I think have shingles, or it could be poison oak. My copy of 'From Hell' is fucking up, and my toilet overflowed after I pinched out U-571.As you can see I'm not happy at the moment so I decided to blame politics and write the not anticipated follow up to the Hecklernomicon. As you can see this is like the Book of Mormon, not a true sequel, but a passable ersatz one. This is also due to the fact that I'm rewriting the Hecklernomicon as a whole and restarting it soon. So don't steal the name. Look for it soon, and I promise it won't be good, or even readable. Just nod like an epileptic mongoloid and act like you love it.

-Insidious_T