PastPoop

5/14/2003-Quit Trying to Kill Me With Your Peace

Damnit, I feel like I'm worthless right now. I feel like I'm running as fast as I can to keep up with everyone else but the problem is that I'm hobbling along at a snails pace. To make this analogy or whatever the hell it is complete, I'm hobbling because I think I shot myself in one of my legs. I don't know where the wound is to fix it, but there is a lot of blood and it definitely is bad. The worst part is that I know it's my fault, and I can't figure out if I did it on purpose or not. Either way were all being chased by a pack of starving, bloodthirsty pitt bulls that as a whole I like to call life and I'm falling behind. Ooh or how bout this: I'm being fed into the giant industrial chipping machine of life feet first, and I've got my hand clamped down on the on button with out the ability to let go. Either way that’s me right now. Damnit.

I'll get away from the subject of me for a little bit just to spare you my whining about the sphincter tumor of life that as it gets bigger seals my butt hole of a existence shut. Ok here's the deal: all of you suck for the most part. My mom's pretty cool but the rest of you guys definitely suck. You just don't know it. Now keep in mind that I'm not excluding myself from the sucking category, I am aware of the various types of suck I am or have maybe. Fuck you.

If I could be a bicycle I would be a mongoose. Cause I had a mongoose way back in the day when I was like 8 years old and it was one sweet ride. More than likely though if I was turned into a bike of any kind and I had no choice I would be one of those of lame scooters that always got flat tires. I'm sure the rest of you would get turned into scooters, maybe a few of you would become one of those plastic tri-cycles that usually had a theme like Knight Rider, A-Team, and GI-Joe, the rest of you guys would end being one of those freaking huge 30 speed bicycles with the real thin tires and pedals that no 8 year old could possibly reach. If you could reach those pedals at eight years old you’re a freak, so fuck you, you freak.

Heres a quick one for you: if you think that Denmark or wherever the hell it is that child pornography is legal is wrong for allowing it, the true citizens of the world would think that you have a close-minded attitude. You can't tell another culture that it is wrong to put penises into 10 year olds because that is bigoted. That’s just how they do things there. It's their way. It's their way to put penises into 10 year olds. Moral relativity is the only way to view the world, because you can't force your beliefs onto other cultures. You can't tell someone from a different culture that eating people is wrong, it's just his way of doing things. You know what if you think that you can’t apply a universal standard of morality to the rest of the world, fuck you. When you go to another country and get anally raped by a taxi driver, the only thing I'm going to say to you is "Don't complain you whiner, it's just the way they do things there! Now get out of my face and sit on your ass doughnut." Fuck you.

Until I get valid reason why you hate Republicans or Democrats you can go fuck your self. I don't want to hear that Republicans are only trying to help the wealthiest one percent. Quit spouting what the Democrats are feeding you, you cow fisting fucker. I also don't want to hear how the Democrats are morally corrupt and trying to make you gay. Give me something new, you elderly fisting cock spooge. There are decent people on all sides of the political spectrum. A nuclear holocaust in Washington D.C. and California would be just the type of political enema this country needs. Loud mouth celebrities and money-grubbing politicians can go fuck themselves and fuck you.

There should never be a one-world government. Once you get rid of countries you get rid of the thems of the world. The French Parisians define themselves by their hate of American's. Since American's are not an ethnic group like the French are, if the world borders are abolished then there won't be a them for the French Parisians. They will have to find another them in order to maintain their asshole cohesion or they will kill each other. They might just start hating Jews, which could give rise to another Nazi Germany, but unlike the German's the French will surrender once the Jewish Rabbi's start throwing their caps at them. People define them selves by who they hate. If a group can't hate outsiders it will turn on it's self and go apeshit. Liberals hate Conservatives, Conservatives hate Liberals. Muslims hate everyone, everyone hates Muslims. If Muslims do not have Jews, Christians, or Russians to hate they will start splitting up into Sunni and Shiite and hate each other. If you are naive enough to think that if we all are "citizens of earth" and we all smoke up some skunky doobage, that peace will ensue than your head will be planted on the ends of pikes along with other like minded individuals. So fuck you and quit trying to kill me with your peace.

Just so you know why I'm ranting here, it's because as I write this I am sitting at work. This place just makes me want to rant. I dunno. Just a second after I finished the last paragraph a local street preaching man came in (Insidious_T, and maybe Barnyard knows who I am talking about) and talked to me for a little bit. Some of the things he says are a bit out there, but I feel like he has some sort of connection to the heavens above that allows me to trust and respect him. He is your archetypal street preacher, fighting spiritual warfare with the adversary and preaching to anyone that will listen. I will listen to him. He has his bad days and I end up feeling worse after talking to him and other days are good like today where I feel a lot better after talking to him. In his words are the truth, but you have to listen carefully in order to catch it. Because the truth is jumbled in with all sorts of misconceptions, and misunderstandings you need to filter out. It is in there though. I am working on strengthening my faith but I will eventually get to where I need it to be. Ah man I feel pretty mellow now. Cool. Well I'm not quite sure yet but I think I will do another movie review or maybe complain about something else. Forget about all the insults in the paragraphs above this but look into what I was saying. I dunno, it's up to you. I say good day to you sir.

-HighPulp

(editor's note)

This article contains the word fuck nine times.