PastPoop
4/26/2003-Poetry Corner w/ Insidious_T
Stuff
A day.
Sun shining brightly.
It's my day.
Treading along the path of life.
Unconcerned.
Walking, striding,
Singing wistfully.
Splooch.
Eh, upon what vile thing have I stepped?
Shit.
Dogshit.
With assworm larvae.
Blam!
A crack across the noggin.
Your wallet turkey!
I have no ducats.
Size 15.
In the nuts.
It hurts.
I lay.
In dogshit.
With swollen nardmarbles.
My day is no good.
Divine Summons.
I awake with a start.
I am summoned.
God hath decreed:
The Golden Bridge awaits your arrival.
Okay, I go.
A trek.
On foot.
My car is a Gremlin with no engine.
Endless road. Exhausted.
I am here Oh, Lord!
Send me Thy Divine Message!
Behold!
A Mighty Hand!
And He spake:
Pull My Finger.
Herman.
In my cellar he waits.
Good chimp,
Good chimp.
With a zipper mask on.
Good boy,
Good boy.
Up and down the hillside,
Walnuts tossed at his ass.
Happy boy,
Happy boy.
This is part 1 of your progressive poetry lesson. Poems are filled with
emotion, truth, enlightenment, schizophrenia, style, cheerios, and the
essence of the soul coupled with a 1/2 gallon of upper intestinal crust.
To be a poet, one must flow the essence of oneself into the works. Sometimes,
a proper setting is needed. I wrote these skillful verses in an Applebee's
potty room with my laptop whilst sitting upon a fragrant bowl, filled
with my leftover cheesecurds and lima beans, and lined with 6 Texas t-shirts.
You really need not study any other poet's works in this day and age.
Merely vomit your self inflicted butt puckey on paper or your computer.
Form is also hardly a consideration. As I learned from my years in Seattle,
you merely need to only be able to form loose phrases and use eloquent
words. You don't even have to use them properly. The word 'scheistkopf'
sounds cool and makes you look neato when you use it in a poem to describe
your significant love bunny. Hey, it's a German swear word, but not like
they'll know. You just look badass.
Talk about pain! I cannot emphasize this enough! Make shit up if you
have to! Talk about having to comb daddy's 'other hair', or how mommy
played hide the soap in your butt. If you're lucky, this can be bankable
lyrics for the next Linkin Park or Korn album. Spew the darker side of
your psyche, have a shrink implant false memories, whatevah! Just piss
your shattered soul out and you'll again look badass.
Vote Democrat! This is important in the poetry community. Republicans
don't like poets, cause they can't read. That, and as a poet you have
to have an extreme left wing outlook on life. That means that nothing
is really taboo in your life, and you must be willing at any time to march
for peace and write verses about the atrocities in a country you can't
spell or locate. This may even get you on t.v. which is clearly badass.
Weekly readings. You gots ta find some hep cats in your area and do
some poem swappin' on the mic. Let them snap while you read your love
for spotted owls and pink mums. Feel the love of the common brother in
the forum of a smoky bar that runs E thru the waitresses. Listen to their
works, and comment on their flow. This will up your karma and will definitely
make you badass.
You are on your way soldjah!
-Insidious_T
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