PastPoop

4/14/2003-The Positive Aspect of Bad People

Throughout history much has been made of evil people who have done naughty things. Their vile wicked ways being the focus of their personas and their terrible methods of inflicting pain and suffering among the masses. Assuredly this drew me to such nutcases, but in my research I have found
a plus side to many evildoers and villains throughout history. The following is a brief profile and some nastiness that these individuals incurred. Following that a nice summary of the actual positive things these villains did. Without further monkeycocking, we shall begin.

Name: Adolf Hitler
Occupation:
German "Fuhrer" and Reich Chancellor, 1933-1945

Why was he a bastard?
He didn't like Jews much, and tended to order them dead.
He also liked invading countries for shits and giggles.

What good was this fuck?
Dude, if it wasn't for Hitler, the Germans wouldn't have
the Autobahn with a minimum speed of 200kmh.
He was also responsible for the creation of the
Volkswagen Beetle. It was meant to be an affordable
car for the German masses. The war however, precluded
its manufacture, though the German government honored
bonds given for the Volkswagen until 1970. This is funny
cause hippies drove those things, and I believe they should've
made bumper stickers saying: 'Hitler built my Bug'. Hypocrite
bastards.

Name: Joseph Vissarionovich Djugashvili- "Joe Stalin"
Occupation:
Russian 'Vodzh'- leader of the Russian people from 1927-1953

Why was he a bastard?
He stomped anyone who got in his way of succeeding Lenin,
He purged his Army staff in 1936 due to paranoia, he subjugated
Russian border states to his own form of Communism, and he
drove his wife to suicide. He also signed an alliance with Hitler
in 1939. Oh, and he was also inclined to take a page from Hitler
and created his own style of genocide in his own lands.

What good was this fuck?
Well, after Hitler invaded the U.S.S.R in 1941, this rat bastard
joined the allies in smashing Nazism. His troops took Berlin.
Secondly, he helped reduce the overall Russian surplus population.

Name: Benito Mussolini
Occupation:
Italian 'Duce', pronounced 'doo-chay' not douche, leader of the Italian
people and Fascist Party 1922-1943.

Why was he a bastard?
Actually Mussolini wasn't TOO bad, he was just Hitler's
monkey boy from 1937 on. He did however, coin the term
"Axis Powers" and tried to help Hitler and himself to other
European and African countries. He was a dictator though,
so he's still a bastard, only a tame one.

What good was this fuck?
Um... he made the trains run on time.

Name: Jack the Ripper
Occupation: Slasher O' Hookers

Why was he a bastard?
Jack liked to cut the 'unfortunates' or whores, of London's East
End up back in the fall of 1888. He merely slashed a few, and
horribly mutilated others. He also made Scotland Yard look
like jackasses. He also set the pattern for future serial killers.

What good was this fuck?
Indirectly he helped the Crown realize that people in the
East End needed better living conditions, and public
renovations began a few years later. He also helped quite
a few johns from tainting their peepees with whoreborn illness.

Name: David Koresh
Occupation: Self proclaimed Messiah, nutjob.

Why was he a bastard?
This clownshoe decided to start a cult so he could bang
many broads, and stroke his baseless ego. He also thought
he was Christ returned. He caused the FBI to investigate his
nuttiness, which resulted in a huge standoff that resulted in many
deaths of his followers, and he put Janet Reno on the map.

What good was this fuck?
Not much, but the standoff was great television. Watching the
government try and smoke him out, then plow the place was damn
funny. The hilarity continued with the government looking like fools
when they failed to take him, and he killed his hostages anyway.

That's enough for now. As you can see there was always light in the darkness. These unscrupulous choad monkeys did do a bit of good, whether it be public works, social awareness, entertainment, or great made for t.v. movies. Next time you see or read about these cockswabbers, or any equivalent, try to keep an open mind. Who knows, maybe the next Fuhrer will make the first European SeaWorld with a turkish bath.

-Insidious_T