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PastPoop
5/10/2003-Road to ze Weiss Haus: Insidious_T for President.
I am hereby announcing my candidacy for President of the United States,
as a founder of the National Asspie Party. Although I am under the legal
age of 36 to run, I have secured a permission slip from my mommy, and
the House, Senate, and Congress said, "alrighty, let the retard run,
should be at least good for shits and giggles." That was the official
reply. Good enough for me.
I have already drafted a a few members for my cabinet, and I will add
more during the campaign as soon as candidates have been selected by the
process of their checks clearing.
It is with gratitide and a heavy heart that I choose to run. I am a
middle class honkey with absolutely no legislative experience, except
for junior class treasurer, which ended quickly when I embezzled funds
for freshman lapdances. However, I am the man for this job. I have the
ideas. I have the drive. I have really bad gas, but my administration
will work hard, and do stuff.
I mentioned that I threw in my lot with a heavy heart. This is because
I may be taking control of one pissed off nation. People are broke, politically
divided, and I even hear some women refuse to shave their armpits before
sunbathing beachside. In my next speech, I will outline my party's plans
for reform in all areas, and allow you, the Amerikan Volk to decide if
I am deserving of your trust.
I will say this here and now, We need reform! In all areas. My administration
plans to give all aspects of government a cold vinegar enema. Government
waste will be eliminated, social services will get a douching, and our
foreign policy will be revamped as befits your votes and my mood.
People! If you want change, and a President that beats ass, gets shit
done thru his ministers and isn't afraid to beat off and smoke cigars
during a State of the Union address, you need to look to me. I promise
you, great changes, and equality for all unless you piss me off. Soon,
the cabinet list, and my party's program will be issued. Take heart people,
a new dawn is beggining! Raise your hands high, announce your American
pride and say;
Vote for Insidious_T and this man will travel the world and recrute Booty
for the US.
insidious' not frivilous, an end to social syphillis, he's deus ex politicus.
-Insidious_T Post A CommentRead Comments |
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